A “Super Vicious” World

Why do I do what I do? What a question, a very broad one to say the least. Immediately I thought of the obvious things that I do. Well, I undoubtedly check my Facebook before getting any actual work done on the computer, I have an irresistible urge to press large red buttons, and I sing the alphabet song every time I need to put something into alphabetical order. Why do I do these things you ask? I’d love to respond by saying, “I JUST DO!” however I believe Nike has copyrighted the words JUST and DO in the same sentence so the question lingers. Finally I found the best way to describe why we do the things we do is to think of life without doing the things we do.

First I thought about all the nights my peaceful slumber took a sharp turn for terrifying. The only way to protect myself from the Boogieman, the thing under my bed, or the monster in my closet that was terrorizing me was to hide under my blanket head-to-toe making sure not even a strand of hair was left exposed. It would be insane for anyone not to protect themselves in this way. You would be mulled to death.

Then I thought about the day I learned why we say “God bless you!” or, if you are someone who enjoys getting dirty looks, “Gesundheit”. I was told the heart of a sneezer would stop if someone did not bless them. To my surprise, not only is dismissing the ritual of blessing a sneezer impolite but it’s criminal! We would be murders if we chose to ignore this duty we have been given.

Next I started thinking about something a little more recent. Yesterday I simply told my roommate that I’ve never broken a bone. She screamed, “Knock on wood three times or else you will break a bone!” I diligently complied and thanked her for the heads up. I’m just lucky I didn’t break a knuckle before I completed the knocking sequence.

Next time you are in a small hallway and you approach an open latter, rather than complaining about having to squeeze and climb around the outside, think about how much worse the world would be if you just simply walked directly underneath. It would be a Super Vicious World.